Feeling a little sad at the holidays?

I was feeling sad thinking about holidays with my mom, and I started thinking why do some of us always seem to get sad at this time of year. I was never sad during the holidays when I was growing up! The holidays can be a nostalgic time for many of us and we long for what we experienced in our childhoods. There are other reasons too that might make us feel sad during this time of year.

Let’s start with the emotional cause. Holidays accentuate family and togetherness and that can be especially painful for those who are alone or are estranged from family or loved ones. There is also loss or grieving. If someone has recently lost a loved one or close friend, this time of year can cause amplified grief and sadness and be another reminder of their absence and the loss. Then there is plain old stress and pressure. There are unique expectations and demands including, gift-giving, hosting or attending holiday parties, and travel, and this generates significant stress and anxiety. One of the biggies, and one of the major issues that we probably have all seen our moms go through is societal pressure. There is an unstated obligation to have a "perfect" holiday, and this one especially can lead to disappointment, dissatisfaction, and family conflict if things don't go as planned.

The next reason people get sad during the holidays is associated to emotional and mental health. If you are already dealing with these issues and then the holidays roll along you are bombarded with more problems that will affect you psychologically. Some people have Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD, and the holidays can be especially difficult for them. Reduced sunlight during the winter months can contribute to feelings of depression and sadness, and the holidays can worsen those feelings. Then there are people who are already experiencing issues related to mental health like depression and anxiety, and these feelings are deepened during the holidays.

Finally, there are the everyday life issues such as financial strain which can impact the cost of gifts, travel, and holiday meals and that can put a significant strain on people’s finances, and trigger stress and worry. Additionally, holiday schedules can disrupt our daily routines, making it challenging to maintain healthy habits like sleep and exercise.

But It's important to remember that it's normal to feel some sadness during the holidays. If it becomes overwhelming and causes you to struggle, here are some things to help you try and get through it. First, establish realistic expectations. Don't feel pressured to do everything perfectly. It’s not going to happen. Something usually does not go according to plans or expectations especially at the holidays. Focus on what's important and let go of unrealistic expectations. And when something doesn’t go as you expected, just take a moment and realize that you cannot control everything and embrace imperfection. At this time of year, it is especially important to practice selfcare. Make time for activities that are routine, and you enjoy, such as reading, spending time in nature, or practicing mindfulness. Don’t abandon them for the holidays. Humans are wired to feel happy and comfortable when they have routines which the holidays can overpower.

It goes without out saying but remember, you're not alone. People all over the world experience holiday sadness, and there are ways to cope and find joy during this time. The holidays are a time for joy and connection, and by focusing on what truly matters, we can find happiness and peace during this unique time of year.